Over the years, my definition for success has changed. When I was really young, I wanted to become a rapper and success meant that I was known. I wanted to be known in Haltern, my hometown, but also beyond. I wanted to be known in the world.
That's how I got into the web business. With me starting as a freelancer at the age of 14, I had a different goal, different criteria for success. I wanted to earn as much money as possible. Being a millionaire before the age of 25 was the thing that I had declared back then.
During that time, I ended up going through few different, difficult personal phases and money lost its value for me. Instead, having money turned into a device for the ultimate success — power. I defined success as being able to lead people, spread my ideologies. This thinking led to me constantly worry about what I achieved and ended up spending all my energy on working.
My personal relationships heard nothing from me and slowly broke off, my mental health suffered constantly and even my physical health didn't have the best time.
This understanding of success slowly faded away when I met my wife, and I started thinking about a future not for myself only but us as a couple. But it stayed. I had enough weeks and even months in which I felt like I was a massive failure, just because I hadn't succeeded.
However, at the same time, I wonder what success means for me at the moment. Somehow, it's easier to think about my success criteria from the past that realizing what success means for me right now.
What does it mean to be successful?